The idea of being disabled can be devastating to someone who has always been strong and able-bodied. Cement produces character, or so said my husband. That character demands that you withstand bad weather to stick with a slab that is slow to set up. That character demands that you be able to keep moving for hours as you pull concrete, run machines, or push trowels or brooms. I got the gist through years of descriptions. Dealing with issues such as a knee that was bone to bone, an irreparable full rotator cuff tear, and a spine that was curving and fusing, it made sense to start into the disability process. However, it is really hard to cope with the idea of being disabled when you are constantly trying to prove to yourself first and foremost that you are able.

One of the greatest challenges for my husband was tracking his symptoms. He hated focusing on the negatives, which would discourage him. Unfortunately, the process of seeking disability benefits demands that you do just that, focus on the I can’ts rather than the I can’s. The I can is the item that will often prevent your approval for benefits. In the world of disability rights, there is a focus on disability not defining an individual. In the world of the Social Security Administration, however, disability definitions are rooted in can’t do it vs. can.

It can be helpful for two to work together in that process, especially if one is noticing the challenges faced by another. Journaling can be helpful. I fell short in keeping track of things that might have best demonstrated the challenges, and I didn’t even realize that this could be helpful in the first year of dealing with the system. However, my husband’s planner was a great tool for some items. Just using a color-code for medical appointments allowed him to track the numerous trips to doctors and hospitals. When the planner was more than 50% full of dates that were highlighted in pink for medical issues, the view was much clearer. Meanwhile, continuing to try to get out and do the things that he could was a huge need for keeping his perspective up. An individual dealing with serious medical challenges needs the blessing of a positive outlook, so find ways to track the downside without making that the only focus of life. It’s tough, guaranteed, but it’s important.

If you face the disability process, it’s good to have your eyes wide open. It’s easy to jump ahead without realizing what the process entails. Hindsight is 20/20, and I think that if we had realized much of what we later knew, we would have approached the process much differently. For example, there is an awareness in the public domain that it can be very difficult to be approved at the first level of application for disability benefits. This may cause some individuals to jump to the stage of securing representation at the outset. However, there are many who are willing to quickly offer representation without being willing to put in much effort at the initial stages. Recognize that a legal representative is limited in how much money they can collect from one’s backpay. This may result in minimal efforts when the payout will not be very advantageous. Take time to scour the Web to find out about the process. One of my favorite sites is ssdfacts.com, which contains great reference material and offers an interactive forum that can provide you with access to others going through or having gone through this process. You can definitely research the condition that you are dealing with to learn more about others having sought benefits. The folks there aren’t necessarily going to tell you what you want to hear, but they will typically tell you what you need to hear.

We started out with a “mill” of a legal firm, but we were fortunate to find an individual who was able to take over the case who had a more personalized approach to handling my husband’s case. She kept us in the loop through an online portal, which meant that we were advised of materials received or sent on my husband’s behalf. We could easily upload medical records. We were able to track the fact that materials had been faxed rather than wondering. If I could encourage in one thing, I would say that it is wise to hold out for such a representative, one who wants to go into a case front-loaded with relevant information.